Harry Potter and The Other Two Kids
by maykitty11
Summary: it's parody....it's original....it's....Ron goes to America! and avec Harry et Hermione! plz review...
1. Chapter 1

**Harry Potter**

**And The Other Two Kids**

**CHAPTER 1: The Pre-Amble**

Harry Potter is a wizard. As if you didn't know that. To sum up the last six years, here is a short prologue to fill you in. Harry is an orphan from a non-wizarding family (actually his aunt and uncle), and then he found out that he was a wizard from a scrubby magical version of the Jolly Green Giant. Whoa. Then he went to a wizard school and had wacky adventures with his best two friends, while facing occasional controversy from having survived the king of all spells, Abra Kadavra. Oops, I mean Avada Kedavra. My bad.

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He and his best chap Ron Weasley were playing a sensible game of Exploding Go-Fish in the shabby loft called the Burrow when there was a sudden announcement from downstairs.

"Oy!" Ron's father, Arthur called, "Hey Weasleys, I just want everyone to know that we're poor."

"Huh?" called Ron.

"What I meant to say is that I'm fired, so we're poor_er_ than we were before," his dad replied.

"Oh," Ron said, then "WHAT?"

"What, are you deaf? I said we're out of money, so we're going to do what all Europeans eventually do...move to America!"

"Oh, Arthur!" said Ron's mom, Molly.

"Eh, I guess this isn't as bad as the time when dad enrolled us in the Marines," Ron said to Harry.

The next day the Weasleys, along with Harry and the other best friend, Hermyoine... I mean Heyermoyn. Hullerperloon. Whatever, the only chick in the triangle, was at London International. The Wealseys were scheduled for flight 653, to America.

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"Err..." said Ron.

"Yeah..." replied Harry.

"Um, I'll write lots."

"Keep in touch," Harry said, on the brink of tears.

"Oh, honestly, you've been saying goodbye for two hours," Hermy-whatever said.

And so Ron left for the boarding gate. He walked until he came to the barrier between Gates Nine and Ten. He then broke at a run for the gate, but to his surprise he did not vanish into the magical Platform, but instead his skull collided with the cold steel of the Barrier. Darkness covered him like an electric blanket (dang those things are nice)...

When Ron awoke, he was aboard what appeared to be a moving Butterbeer bottle with seats.

"Mum..." he moaned.

"Ohh, Ronnie, you've been out for five hours," Mrs. Weasley said softly.

They were on what certainly appeared to be an airborne train. Apparently they were on an aeroplane, as the British say it. They were now en-route to New York.

"Where are we?" asked Ron.

"On an aeroplane," said his twin brothers Fred and George simultaneously.

"That's really creepy when you do that," said Ginny, another freaky sibling of Ron.

"What is?" they said together.

"Excuse me, you're brother just had a near death experience," said Mrs. Weasley very sternly.

A voice came over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land in the city of New York, not quite as good as Olde York, but just as clean. Please take you're seats and return... ah, well, you know the drill."

A drunken old woman then threw a whiskey bottle which randomly flew through the air and bounced off the top of Ron's head. He all of a sudden felt very sleepy and conked out like a light in the uncomfortable Economy-Class chair...

_Author's Note: Well i hope you like it! It's entirely to be a **parody only**...I really like staying true to the actaul story but I felt that a funnier spin was needed...even if the theme of the books shouldn't be taken lightly...my next work will be mroe serious...there will be another chapter soon! More about Ron's adventure in America, and of course Harry/Hermione...plz review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO: The New Beginning**

Meanwhile back in Britain, Harry and Hermione (finally got it) were shopping in Diagon Alley with Hermione's dentist (shudder) parents.

"So, has Ronald written you yet?" asked Hermione.

"Nope, well, I guess it's because he's only been gone six hours..." replied Harry.

"Jolly good," said Hermione's dad, umm, Mr. Granger, "we've got all of the magical tooth care devices from Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes. They're clean out!"

"Dad..."said Hermione, picking up a toothbrush, which immediately turned into a pus-spitting moth, "I forgot to tell you about Fred and George's sense of humor."

"Uggh," he replied,wiping pus out of his hair.

"Whoa, look at this," Harry said, pointing to Quality Quidditch Supplies.

Indeed, there was a gaggle of people forming around the shop. Harry, Hemione and her slime-covered parents walked over to the crowd, pushing their way to the window.

"Whoa," Harry repeated.

There, in the window was the Swiffer Clean n' Fly. It was so beautiful that Harry stared at it like it was food and he was Oprah. The price in the window said that the broom cost five hundred Galleons, way out of Harry's finances' limit.

"Harry, I know what you're thinking," said Hermione anxiously, "but you've still got five years of school..."

"What the heck are you talking about? We only have two!" replied Harry impaitently.

"Oh, well, last year I crashed _your_ broom into that concrete wall and got that concussion, and ever since then I have a memory like a zombified cancerous turtle."

Harry worked out his money, and decided that if he paid for the broom in installments, plus if he sold his Firebolt (sniff), then he would have enough for Hogwarts. They walked into the shop; which closely resembled a vacuum retail building.

"Hello, sir?" Harry said to the manager, who was dealing with some Scandinavian witches trying to pay in goats blood.

"Shoo!" he said to the plump witches, and then turned to Harry,"Yes?"

"Um, I'd like to buy that Ferrari...I mean broomstick in the window."

Harry handed over the money and retrieved the broom from the manager. It was wrapped in a gold and yellow bag that shined like Cho Chang's hair in the sunlight...ahem...

"Oh my goodness!" squealed Hermione like a test rat atthe sight of theSwiffer.

"I'm going to ride it to your house," Harry beamed triumphantly.

"No, Harry..."

But before he knew it he was in the air on the blue handle of the Swiffer. He soared over downtown London; his new broom flying even better that his old Firebolt. The sun danced gently on the handle of the broom as the wind brushed his hair. He did'nt think that brooms could be made any better.

In the distance, he heard a slight buzzing noise. He looked over his shoulder, and there were two fighter jets zooming on his tail. He pulled an evasive manouver as if he was dodging a Bludger. Just in time too, because he heard machine gun bullets whizzing over where his head had been moments earlier. _How am I going to get out of this?_ he thought to himself.

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Ron Weasley threw a hand-me-down duffel bag onto the spring matress of his new room. They had moved into a new home in the countryside which his dad had christened The Burrow II (how original). Their new home was nicer than the Burrow I, but the only drawback was that each room was stackd on top of one another, so the whole structure was eight stories tall.

"What the heck, Dad?" Ginny had asked upon seeing the new house.

"It's only temporary sweetie, until we get out of the sheep-dung business and I get a new job in the Ministry here."

Indeed, the house had come with an old sheep-dung farm. They had "inherited" the farm from their great aunt Hilka, who had been in the business since after the war. Now the sheep refused to leave, and they ate a diet of only cat liver and fourteen year old scotch.

Ron and Ginny were enrolled in the local George Washington Military Wizarding school, the only wizarding school within one hundred miles. Brutal, harsh military/wizarding tactics were apparently the "only_ proper_ training method" in America.

Ron did not know how he was going to survive this. The same thoughts were shared by his best friend, Harry Potter, in another continent.

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_Author's Note: Well as you can see my chapter's are not short, nor very long. I apologize but I prefer it this way for this story. More about Harry and what happens to him on his broom...Will Rn survive lif ein America? Will he ever see his best freinds agian? Next chapter to come...plz review_


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